The Burning Banquet

For my death, as I had imagined it, there seemed to come an end. The darkness, which had extinguished every part of my longing for life. Would I not be seen as a savior of humankind, if as so, I had saved human kind from the descent into anarchy?. Other thoughts; of death, had surfaced so many times now compared to the short time in which it had occurred. How death must feel each time he took a life, and lingered when the body emptied into nothing but a shell, as hollow as before creation. Death must have laughed, and kept laughing for every time I had fallen into his arms, not weeping, but astonished to find that I was before him yet again. How he must have wept, to find out that he had yet again caught me out of this world, but in another. A world within this world, which was able to repeat itself again and again, where death usually was the only escape; just not for me, my above floating consciousness ever tormented by my own demise. 

The dermal cape of my body seemed unscathed by the previous events. Yet another proof, determining that I was beyond my body, inside an environment projecting the existence beyond what it was before into what it could be now. Instead the existence have denied the thought, thus the subconscious world is created. That I have read. I was lying down. Possible, explainable and logical. A stumble through the dark had in most probably circumstances put my ind a deep subconscious slumber. Soot and ashes filled my nostrils while I was consciously beginning to breathe. Before my mind ever could register the small particles clotting up my nose, the body convulsed in a great spasms forcing a cough over several feigning minutes. In my spasms, the the touch of skin on clothes felt different, lighter and cleaner. No light tickle of dead cells conjoined to the skin seemed to appear in my mind, first now registering the loss thereof. As I realised this a deep itching began all over, not from burning, but from something else, which probably was the loss of hair caused by severe burning.

I flailed my body up from the ground. The hands that touched the ground, did not touch what was floor, but rather that which had been floor at one time. Fingertips sensing the deep layers of soft snow, lighter than a feather itself. Imprints where in the hand as it dug deeper into the layers of ash, almost toppling the whole body in the upheaval from darkness. I saw, to my surprise, a landscape of grey. Dark moulds to all sides, as none of which was before, could be seen now. Was my dream the real end, and this before me death way of rattling me further down his spiral. A dance upon the edge of the grim reapers scythe? I had a queasy feeling of something to go about as wrong as it could get, and by my calculation the moment of truth to this feeling, would be about now.

They were all around in the midst of ashes – The bodies that had haunted the restaurant room in their casualness. Devouring the words to each other like they were common to the ancestors as the tongue was placed, moulded and expressed. All of them were nothing but charred meat, red bodies and spilled wine to their last moments in the heat. A fierce battle had obviously been depicted in real life moments and then again frozen. That was all you could tell by the screams that had stopped when pain had protruded, exclaimed itself in their inner blood systems. They crawled up on their feet, slowly taking in, gobbling up the part of the ashes around them. As an inverse breath of death, they were living by what had been fire, beings of ash and mold, muscles and sinew

This uproar should not get in my way, I now stood as I had not stood before; yet again a true stance, true to youth and creativity. The phoenix rising from the ashes of beyond.

Standing in the desert where the winds rushed over him and the ashes all moved to the earthly bounds, earthly reaches; I could see, or spot that there was no help in this no-man’s-land and the beauty which had ruptured him, had disappeared. There I stood, with nothing to remember but the fate that she had chosen to give him. Walking slowly out through the fences to policeman and woman who where placed to stop casual pedestrians from satisfying their curiosity to the outcome of events belonging to past tense. They could only think it as arson, indeed it could be nothing else when a man such as I walked past these mere townsfolk, like the fire had molded me and the devil had spat the body out again. There was nothing but empty glares in their empty bodies, of those bystanders who were there. In my own mind, the chaos raged. I had corpses rising behind, corpses of living flesh to the front, and every step I would be taking was as a hero of humanity. The cave was still behind me, and should the lions not be behind lock and door? I pushed forward in slow steps, ensuring that none would come running to alter my position in this truth among few. She was still in my thoughts among others, the demon harbinger of fire, soulless from heart to brain. Deep feelings from the afterdark kept pulsing into my mind, like a candle against the wind, but stirring again and again, burning the skin of the hand which sheltered it. It was cold yet warm; Only sin could relieve me, lust of the body between body was one of the dark burning thoughts I fought as true as I could. This pressure she put on me, was stripping me bare. I could feel how, among this, that every mental aspect of my being, slowly was nailed into a cardboard box, and hidden beyond my grasp.

Only one thought I could muster, it was heating my whole body, my complete existence to a point beyond control. But i had control, I felt how the impossible from before was possible. I had done it, I had become one with the fire and wreaked havoc among all these people. Sudden bluring images surged through my mind, fueling the feelings of control; different control - colors in a black and white world, light in the dark - uncontrolled and incomprehensible. Pulsating through my whole body, with the flow of blood, the heart controlling the power itself; burning. 

Lips of my mouth was twitching to form a cynical smile, part of my which was not me, had taken effort to create this. I spread cold blood through every vein, counterbalancing the anarchy, before it spread - a tumor that needed to be removed by freezing. The tumor itself was fire, not clean but something very different. Malignant blaze of heating to spread in the whole body. Cold control and logic was enough to spur the smile away at a blast of a frown.

This would require a considerable amount of paperwork. The references that the books held had never mentioned these words among their pages; they had never proposed the thought of his work working against him.

 The thoughts whirled like a pool as I now more than ever needed to orientation on where to go, for answering questions of bewildering origin; I needed to do so, because such a thing as the mind was indexed and catalogued as a filial system where only the reality of his work was stored. With the lot filled with zombies, an escape unnoticed would be an impossible feat even for a chameleon such as I, walking among those born in anything but void. Maybe I didn't need to escape? A part of  my body filled the rest of it with the warm embers of safety, making me stand ground to view through the plane of destruction.

The burned corpses and rotting flesh from the scene behind him had begun making the noises of something unmistakeable in the usual human mind; something that had been buried my whole life, now resurfaced in reality. There was still something rather horrifying about the sound - A distorted cracking sound which you only would be able to compare as the peeling of flesh from burnt wood - but there was only ashes left of every burnt building nearby. This was more than any part of a rational mind could handle, and enough to make some part of me lick my lips in godly calm to nauseating images, which would burn into any man’s mind. Oddities of human form were all around on the scene of the fire – a freaky horror show on television. The corpses had risen in pairs: soulless bodies of man to woman stood, controlled by the table mistress, to the king of reaping. While she stood there, far behind, on the top of the rubble, as one of the corpses, she had her black cloak and deformed body to stand out. From head to toe they were blackened yet in a reddish hue from the burning storm of a passionate lover, turning on the fire of every heart, blasting the restaurant into a hell of lust to abide by her command; she was to be more than a part of this story. Blood sprayed from the holed veins that the woman of fire had made. All the corpses, in pairs, were wandering about to be joined, letting the charred meat of the lips mend together, never able to part again. Each of the pairs twirled their fingers together in unity, where some digits broke off: Blood ran out on the ash-filled ground. Still they embraced like nothing had happened. They were the warm-blooded dead with no mimic and only the muscle bound flesh to aid them. Each person’s scorched flesh that bound and stuck to the other, would, like a sticker, fasten on the opposite sex, when any movement came from one in the pair.

Starstruck, paralyzed and even limp, I stood watching these horrid visions expecting a feint arriving any moment. Nothing as such, not even a blurred image before my eyes. Blurred was the images that formed in my mind, from a distant land, a vast world so horrid nothing but the creatures who had been born from it, was able to live in it. She formed from this dimension, or had always been just a small part of this world, among human; more than human. She stood among the corpses as the crouching tiger having caught its prey, gorging it open while grinding her body to the gluey skin in celebration of the feast, of life. After finishing her one meal of man she moved on to the next: Motions of feline grace themed her passage, purring, having been satisfied enough by devouring of a mere man.

Even I could not bear what moemnts of terror to be witnessed; in desperation and knowlegde of the impending doom yet to come I fell to my knees seeing this... this... insanity that had just happened. There was another she devil here, one that I had almost forgot from before, but had to remember as she now stood at my heels, with all the unloving corpses still rising, still touching, peeling off skin with each touch. She was behind me again, the temptress, the succubus. As god must have taken a part of his ribs to create man in his image, the devil himself must have taken a whole hand to create such a vile thing as her.

I
n laughing words she started “Silly man”
turning to a powerful yet controlled yell “If you will not have me, you must sin in another way!”

By the wave of her hand, she summoned a man and woman, and ceased the act freezing them in what moments of burned love they had been attempting to recreate.
A heavy yank and pull to my hair, raised the head tilting it back to force a submission from me, Edward Choice. It was not a grip of the usual kind, you could resist and let your power work against. Nay, it was a grip both of physical and mental restraining - a disempowering force of hopelessness welled into me, until I felt numb. With her other hand she ripped the head from the man corpse in order to bring it to her lips. In a matter of sheer moments she had fulfilled the cannibalistic course so horrible, sinful and pure evil, that, if it was possible, I would have closed my eyes, but could not.

‘EAT!’  she yelled, as she pressed this lifeless head into his. 

Tears welled up inside me, and soon came running down my cheeks: with this humiliating request she imposed upon me fulfill i felt hopeless, there seemed no option in this matter. Although I wanted to resist, all my strength had been drained in the subsequent events happening since she entered the restaurant.

“I said EAT! Edward Choice, man of losses” she said

The mind behind my mind talked, or tried talking. It was muffled, gagged or the like, and still held a power vaster than what my order could image. My mouth opened to her command and began piece by piece to devour the head. Even bones joined in like they were the tenderest beef I had ever eaten. It was easy chewing these simplicities. These Inca or Aztec traditions that I had to follow by heart – Or the other persons heart. A victim like I now was. A ritual like this occurring at this time made it all easier, made me remember who I was yet again. These delusional femme fatales should not win yet. The work had to be done. Everything disappeared into my stomach where it stayed, without even wanting to ascend again. After those moments everything stopped. The images of the corpses stayed still. In their awkward sexual positions. Just by watching you should think this was karma sutra illustrated for corpses.

Silence....

The lull of deception

To you, dearest audience, I am really terrible sorry, that I have not updated my blog for many a days. But the reason, as it will be given today, is scandalous and frightening. I have neither been at my work, nor near any kind of technology. Quite the contrary indeed. Where I last left you standing, in the darkness, beyond the borders of my office, just to peek inside. What you see might be a horror, Beatrice, or a saint, me at my desk. We all know that I was set up by this, the woman in red, as it is beyond me to kill anyone. Her death, in untimely event in the progress of work distribution, need not to be calculated as a bad thing. Even though her job was easy, and she did it right, I have always been best at tending my cases and files myself. This was a new opportunity to set the world deeper into the palm of my hand. But first I had to think, had to revive myself: locate the energy, I had before, and in that matter use it to the fullest in my workcycle.Fuel, food, waste products well organized the human body need as intake optimizing the power of mind and body.

When you last left me I was in a good place, and had the comfort of my office, and I slept there; slept long and deep, until noon on the next day. I woke up so hungry, so much in need of what I have described above, this meal that makes my body fit and able. It was a deep hunger, one that craved protein, meat and all the roasted finesse ever made to be upon me. It would be expensive, yes, and it would be a feast in itself just to make the order. How was I, man of normal body build, be looked upon, with such a prominent dinner. I craved deeper, longed more, so determined upon the hunger, that no work could be done, much to my regret. I felt like a dinosaur, in the need for a fresh carcass, roaming the grounds around which I had always dominated. Roaring out into the deep blue sky, only being answered by those of my kin. If there were any of those. Only silence answered my roar as I stood on the highest vulcano, upon the eye of the world, the greatest mountain to ever be. It was said, that even the greatest mountain, could dissolve itself by fire, and turn the world in its cycle. A vulcano. My roar would still these fires as long as my work itself was done. It was important that this world did not falter, as those of ancient beings did, and it would not as long as I kept standing. and I would always stand! as long as my line would succeed, and as mentioned earlier, by our new methods I would be able to do so, carefully choosing my heirs personal traits without ever bringing my body to defilement.

Stepping gently, silently and in stealth around the long lost body of Beatrice, in its start of decay, I made my way towards the door of the world. I would enter it, the mountain, and conquer it. I firmly pressed the tip of my index finger against the small button "lobby" and awaited my reception, where only I could be king. It would be no serious offence that of the killing, someone, I would have to give permission to go up there, only to prey. He would find the body, and pray with the headless decaying corpse until I told him to stop. Only then would he be a willing minion, able to clean out my mess for me.

There was no trance, no stopping in thoughts, only the growling, rumbling of a stomach waiting, wanting. Like a mewling child it kept pouring forth thoughts of dismay, crying until I almost stood throbbing with pain. I could not reflect on how vast the emptiness inside me had been, and the moments where my thought touched on the topic, I was reminded, in my mind's eye, about the horrible ending I had come to in my trance state. I had been emptied of everything, and laid bare, just to be filled with a horrible metal, as an empty shell ready to be filled. Was I that? No. I was just as hungry, that my numbers would fit, and soon I and it would be satisfied, and again I would be king of the mountain. I would be able to do the duty no one else was able to. Beyond law, beyond satisfaction.

There was no one in the lobby, even at midday. Not even Tom could be spotted, but I allowed him to have a break from one time to the next. I strolled through, out in the street and headed straight for the Restaurant of the Trinity. It was not a normal stroll, but a pushing controlling walk letting none fill my path, controlling the masses around me, setting up quite enough speed to arrive at the restaurant within moments rather than minutes.

A new waiter greeted me, and I got my usual seat a bit away from where the crowd filled the place. It was a strong thought of omnipotency that cast itself to me, as I sat on this place, looking down on the ignorant crowd where none had any idea of how many strings I pulled, even in this room, at this time. I smiled deviously narrowing my eyelids only to a flicker of sight. How I enjoyed this. This sensation was halted immediately as everyone suddenly sat in silence with mouths of miscontempt, pointed staight at me. The sockets of their eyes almost bulging with hate that they didn't even know of. I was disgusted to see that they had noticed my powerful look on them, and bewildered that they did not bow to their master, but instead were forming a revolution of the mind. I ignored it outwardly, but inward I could not hold the grimace I had, and called for the waiter, to fill this hole of hate I had suddenly gotten. Sudden images in all this blurred my mind, and the walls were red as blood, dripping ever again with the words.. The words of meeting in Soho. It flicked on and off. On and off

Then out of the street a lady entered, like no lady had entered before.A devilish posture showed the true intends of murder and passion, which no man would be able to resist. Her deviant smile glowed before me as her eyes of burning passion and lies quickly glanced on these underlings of her power. My eyes could not turn away from her no matter how her I tried, her aura so powerful, I had to gulp in every impression of her black dress which fitted tight to her divinely created body. She walked with elegant strides swaying her body to the motion of the wind that breath created, till she stood in front of my table. She gave me no momentum to speak. Her voluptuous form gave the black dress upon the red wall a movement resembling the dance of fire. Her delirious tone resonated only through my mind before it exited her delicate lips

“I shall please you by accompanying you at this table.” Her eyes fluttered as she looked in a surveying manner

I was dry of words, as I had never been before. No woman had held it like this one could, and oh how the hate and envy boiled inside me. She had cuffed me into silence, and now I was bound already. She had taken the pleasantry already placing her body on the seat without even asking.  The background became foreground, and no tapestry or letters could be seen, just from the bare glance that she produced. It was an odd situation, where she just sat in silence, with the smile of mischief, waiting for me to do something. An odd moment because no one else were staring my direction anymore; why didn’t anyone else notice? The beauty was utopian. And then.. The next is impossible to accept, but you must know. It really did happen! At least some of it.

Her kiss was deep and longing. A sucking slowly filled into the kiss as her tongue drove around unimaginary sensitive to the touch. It felt as if she was prolonging the moments for every second passing by.  As her hands moved like snakes that would entwine the body of their prey, he could only sit transfixed resisting the moans of desire she let upon me. It was her tongue, her body and her essence. A moving point of sensitivity to show the true meaning behind passion to which there was no ending. At last my will crumbled I let out the moan she had been building up within me, her true intend was here and not in the passion she expressed.

From this I woke, as in a dream, already in the middle of the moan, but only to the staring eyes of the audience - the whole restaurant was looking again, as I was moaning to myself, with her eyes into mine, but she had never moved from her position. Still she sat, her smile having changed little but to a fiendish grin that spread slowly. To taunt me! My rage inside was even deeper, and I would not accept this, this abomination to cause such a ruckus. She would not be seen by them, as I was, but I saw her and that would give me power in this situation. Maybe enough power to win her over, win over time and let my work be fulfilled.

By the time the waiter came back to me with the food she had already managed to disguise her fiendishness into what ladylike looks she had. At that moment the waiter gazed to her and she looked directly back into his eyes, his gaze became a glare where only his eyes were in hers, almost jumping out of his skull, for her to devour delightfully. A part of her craved for attention  by others; there was no doubt. The waiter automatically without question turned and went off, not even sparing a thought towards me! This was my domain and this new novice of a waiter had already given up on me. New thoughts fluttered into my occupying it, as the hunger had, this time the hunger was not toward the food but instead on this deviate beauty which was here in front of me. Still I felt the need and urge to eat, and did so, just with her watching me, never falling and never admitting defeat. 

The shadows around me extended their grasp from the single candlelight on the table.  They had taken hold of every person around, to make every figure like the devil himself: Impish looking people making devilish postures around him fiddling fearful gazes.

I would not be played with. I found a sudden darkness from within myself, thoughts of numbers raised. System within chaos, calculated and logical to understand. I could be isolated in this sphere I had created.  She was just gazing, mentally moving her figures around like pawns on the chess board, all these surrounding the king to call for checkmate. I knew that Choice wasn’t on my side in this mind game, and a last stand of light had to be called to resist this darkness coming upon me and my habits. I halted with the devouring and folded my hand to a judging posture while looking down to consider the situation. She, on the other hand looked up in those moments, taking a full deep analyzing look at me, as the snake she were, her strangling grasp had made me lose his habit at this moment, but only for me to resist her complete takeover. ‘Checkmate’ she pronounced as the candle gave in fulfilling the darkness into the restaurant.

Kicking herself forward from the chair and over the table, no moment could be spared. I had calculated part of this move, as she of course would make the first one. I had to be prepared. I reached down to press myself against the table pushing myself and my chair backwards, my back landing on the floor. A quick roll and I was on my stomach, ready to leap anywhere that could offer a chance for safety. She had launched her own body on the table and stood there ready to jump on me, and win me over. To her surprise, I am sure, I crawled beneath her, under the table, grasping for my own calm. I thought deep and long about my office, my desk and everything it possessed. I gave control, and I could notion a sigh of relief as my professional mind was returning.  As the fears slowly was devoured by what sanity I had left, another unknown instance moved in on me; Or under me. It was something dark and gloomy, like an infinite hole in the floor, bubbling and sizzling, awaiting. Slowly I was sinking into this puddle that the floor had changed into. The seal of calm was broken letting panic arise in through my body again. Mind and body first going into spasm, then numb. Nauseous feelings flooded me from the feet up like a stream going into the vast ocean of fear.

 At the point where it reached the stomach, it started turning and moaning in need of relief to the bowels. When the head was reached all I could feel was craving for air, as I went below, my stomach stopped turning. A mind game, where torture was a way to relieve the pains from inside. In a distopic order I could now could see the table I had crawled under, was falling, falling forever from dreams and back into reality.There was no was of intervening with this, and I  floated upon this ride,  and could spot the freeway of thoughts as a readymade tube of goon and gazes for the spectator to enjoy before reaching the debts of hell. Final destination was called and here the elevator stopped. The table was burning under me as I landed on it. The warmth that heated my body with the fires of hell, created in the womb of human fears was now the thing that led to inevitable peace and torture at the same time. There the demon spawn lady stood before me as the only person that had ever existed in this world of reality where I before was ‘king’

In the moments that felt like forever, where he had looked into the eyes of the she-devil succubus, I had been chained to the table where the fires razed. She slowly crawled up onto the table to show her true nature and guise horns beginning to protrude, emerging more and more from her forehead. At last lying on top of me, I succumbed to her kiss and let my body turn to ashes in the grip. Calling out her name as the true kiss had told. she gave me to the ashes of the world where I should be lost forever – riding on the wind of human lust to where blood reigned.

Restaurant of the Trinity

Another ailment I must suffer from, as any other man, is hunger. Not desirous satisfaction to be upheld by self-loving as well as coidal experiences. hunger for food, for survival, as long as a body needs its own drive, we must attend to it. Some, caught in their own sexual tensions would already have derived that intercourse is an actual hunger we need to let our bodies fulfill the actual purpose. That, however is not the case and I cannot point that out enough. We have reached many scientific breakthroughs, some of them even deeming the need for women unnecessary. Especially cloning and the idea of having foster parents, as in mice, where you remove the egg from the mother and inject sperm into it. The ability that we can make test tube children, is delightful. I will be able to let my genes go forth and conquer without even having to work for it thus will create an heir without letting myself delve deep into the Id, and burn up with the long diminished passion I so have neglected, some would say, for those of the opposite gender.

Today must have been the first day of the week, where no such events as earlier occurred, slowing the slow progression of my lobby, into a madhouse. It must have been the stagnant air, which Frida carried with her, that caused the slightly mad tendencies in Tom. Today I could greet him, and he even SMILED at me. In a blissful way, as he had seen an angel. That must be my true power which radiates beyond my mere human body, envisioning my closest staff to blissful life. I will have to find a woman who can work as an obedient dog, as Beatrice, in the lobby. It will be hard. My ever watchful eye in the top of the tower, has a burning clear path to Beatrice, assuring none of her woman's guile turns a revolution against me. I have not handed out cake to the poorer, but I imagine the wrong words still would put me in the guillotine, and out of this place as fast as any royal family wording their true opinions to the wrong persons. That decision must come during the weekend, where I might find the true inspiration, or in the elevator. Now is the time to get to the office.

After a long day at work I tend to go out eating, especially after a long calm day, there is none better than going out to Restaurant of the Trinity. It is an interesting name, father, child and holy spirit combined with a godly serving of dishes no other restaurant would be able to bring forth. As I am the god of this place, always lined first in any queue, the waiter addressing me by name, I would say the food is the holy spirit brought forth. My inspiration on numbers, tenfolds, goes binary and closes on itself in a collapse of fractals I cannot even start to imagine at this point. The exterior of this quite expensive restaurant, is not anything you might think it as. There is no holy trinity. The restaurant is placed in a crossing of 3 roads, a giant building inspired by Chinese in design and symmetry. inside it, every table is placed in it's own stall, to create a comfort zone for each and everyone. They have a V.I.P. lounge where several zones are fit as one, originally thought as a zone for socializing in the different circles of businessmen. It happens on occasion I find someone there and have a quick talk with them, hiding myself well under my facade, cracking his little secrets, creating yet another set of strings to puppeteer such a firm around on the great stock market.

The trinity actually refers to the owners, which are a trinity of corporate firms  funding the Master chef to hire any staff he prefers. My firm is among one of them. I pay nothing for the food, since I have direct funding into the place from my monthly revenue, a hospitable amount.
Today, a minestrone soup as first course and a great red steak as the main. I never eat desserts, as it activates our more dark sides, and desires. I do no desire, and therefore am not tempted by such. As I was on my way out, I received a receipt. Signed with a red kiss....

"What is the meaning of this" I blurted out to the waiter.

 He looked at me as he had never seen the note before, a quizzical look for anyone who just delivered such a timebomb into my hands. Already it had infected my with it's touch, and placed itself deep into the sockets of my retina as well as memory. I marched into the kitchens, yelled at the master chef, who stoof stary eyed and apologized to me ensuring that this man, this bastard of a man, would be fired immediately for his intolerance to the founders of this place.

This apology was enough to resettle my mood, for the day, and as I walked out, the waiter approached me, this time at least, not holding a note, but instead looking perplexed at me.

"A woman have been here to leave you this note" a monotone voice for such a man, but I got the idea, that the joke was on me and ignored his now empty hand automated to show me where the note should have been.

I am not a violent man, and the rage which I had had before, had subsided back into the deeper depths of consciousness where it resides. I simply gave the poor man a nod, satisfied with his destiny soon to be. On the streets of the city. I crumpled the note I had received and threw it over my shoulder to the front doorstep, before taking my walk home to rest after such a day as today.